I keep having these little panics at work, particularly while i’m walking in and out.

It’s probably just the crowds of people there that get to me sometimes. I remember my counsellor looking somewhat confused when I told her I didn’t want to be seen. A lot of the time I do just wish I could be invisible.

I still have a way to go to get over my anxiety, though sometimes I think it will always just be part of who I am, and I just need to make peace with it rather than trying to battle with it.

I fell off the wagon the past few months because I had a bit of a breakdown and everything was getting too much. But I’m back and even more determined to reach my fitness goals.

I hope all you lovely people are doing well! x

I just realised this also means I need to reweigh and remeasure and re-take my before photographs… blerghhh.

last night was difficult. i went into the city for a friend’s 21st and i was nervous. i’d forgotten how much i hate walking through busy bars and have people look at me, and the awkward conversations with people i don’t know.

it reminded me of how far i still have to go. but, i have to keep reminding myself that i just need to take little steps. and the fact i went out at all was a step in the right direction.